Thursday, January 20, 2011


So, does anyone think it's a coincidence that just about the time when their acne peaks, just about all the other cute is stripped from your child, I mean young adult? I have a working theory that it's part of nature's plan to make it easier to kick them out of the family cave. Sadly, as a parent in the modern era, you've still got a lot more years of living with them when they hit 14.

I wrote a post earlier this school year about the frustrations of dealing with high school student # 2 at 14. There has been massive amounts of energy sunk into meetings and plans and procedures. We've had some ups and downs and I will admit to having some frustration with teachers and the school as well, but for this post I'm focusing on HSS#2@14. Her disorganization is epic. Couple that with a kid who got got a 660 on her math SAT in 8th grade and maybe you can get a taste of my frustration. Way too smart and way too clueless at the same time. So as this teetering edifice of support starts to fall apart, what does she do? Bold-faced lies about status and forged initials on daily sheets. I really can't see how this "plan" played out in her mind. The only successful conclusion I could think of involved magically making events change and I'm pretty sure HSS#2@14 doesn't believe in magic.

Rationally, I know that planning and consequences aren't strengths of the teenage brain, but this mess was not that big of a puzzle. Repeated, in various forms, multiple time. Much screaming and crying and gnashing of teeth ensued. I'm still frustrated, and honestly I don't think anything that I can do will cause a change. Whatever.

Often, when people learn about the level of disability that msk has, they think that I must be frustrated with him and what he can't do. At this moment, msk is not my frustration. He is the definition of sweet and honest. I don't think he has the ability to come up with a complicated lie because of the way he's wired. He can get frustrated and lash out with a kick, and he does push at boundaries. He is a 12 year old. When I worry about HSS#2@14's future, I wonder about colleges and careers. With msk I wonder about independent living and support systems. The common thing is that I worry about all my kids.

Msk's presence makes me happy and spending time with him is a joy. Right about now, I would trade HSS#2@14 for a decent cup of coffee.

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