Saturday, June 12, 2010

The pendulum swings

Yesterday's post was all about sunny optimism. Today's? Not so much. I'm worried. Middle schools seems so big and msk so small and clueless. For the last six years (as long as msk has been in school) we've been at a different school every two years. The first two transfers were about getting out of a situation that was clearly a very bad fit (to put it as politically as I can). The last school was a really good fit. Doesn't matter - aging out and time to move on.

The thing about leaving a burning building is that you don't spend a lot of time thinking about how good a fit the next place is. Really, getting out is more important than where you're going.

This year is different. Is this the right place to be going? There's a lot of chaos in a school this size with kids this age. msk is not into chaos. My theory is that so much of the world and life is confusing to msk he just has to find order in his schedule. Lately his favorite iPod/iPad app is the calendar. He goes back to last summer and forward to next week. He quizzes me on what was and what will be. I fear that that kind of order won't exist in an inclusive middle school setting - even with an aide helping him along.

And then the doubt. Is msk in an inclusion setting because it's best for him, or because of some sort of theory of what is "right"? All this figuring it out as you go seems horribly unfair to him, and to all my kids for that matter.

The pendulum swings to a dark place tonight.

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